四月 25, 2009
Saw this at Taxi Stand outside Hung Hom Station this evening:
Totally Impossible!
Well, I think they need to add an instruction on how to board 3 taxi at the same time. I mean… I have one body only and not prepared to chop myself into 3 pieces just for boarding taxi. >_<
四月 12, 2009
某女士在與丈夫到海南島旅行時，看上了一頂太陽帽，很適合在海南島這個陽光猛烈的地方戴著，更重要的是，這種太陽帽在海南島很多人戴，而作為旅客，戴著也不怕讓人笑…
不過，最終沒有買。
幾天前，這名女士的丈夫從遠方打電話來，說買了一頂太陽帽給她，這太陽帽比在海南島的更好…
第二天，速遞員把太陽帽從遠方送到港，收過二十港元的速遞費，便把太陽帽交到這名幸福的婦人手上。
然後…. （事先聲明，太陽帽之形狀及顏色，絕無經過絲毫修改！）
幸福的婦人Gimama
好一個充滿歡樂的受難節周五哦！XDDDDDDD
後記：其實，幸福的婦人還滿喜歡這頂Gimama太陽帽的，因為真的可以擋太陽，最重要的是可以防止曬到面部以至出斑，不過…粉紅色的帽子，似乎太嬌艷了一點；在香港戴這頂帽子，似乎又標奇立異了一點…
二月 15, 2009
大霧，有零散驟雨…
A Foggy Day
到海港城Avene換完貨品，從海港城走到新世界門前搭巴士回家。
坐在巴士上層，特然留意到一名男子下車。會留意他不是因為他帥（OK，他不樣衰…)，而是因為他好一副二袋弟”打扮”…
手機影的相，質素是比較差的了…不過細心留意相中最右邊，有個男子，右肩上是揹著一個黑袋，一個粉紅袋的。兩個袋都是A4放 得下的size…還要兩個…名副其實兩袋弟子
八月 12, 2008
在北京辦奧運，好處是沒有時差，壞處也是沒有時差。沒有時差，即是比賽時間，就是大家的上班時間，要看現場直播，除非放假。
於是，零晨時份的「精華」，就成為追看的節目。
然後無線和亞視選播的項目不同，於是前天晚上和昨晚，為了看體操，我都看了亞視。
老實說，聽慣了無線的評述，亞視的專業評述，是夠專業，不過有時解釋得不夠詳盡，令對體操沒什麼認識的人，有時會不大明白評述背後的原因／背景，但其專業程度，還是可以接受的。
最令人難以忍受的，是亞視字幕稱為「評述」，我會稱為「藝人主持」的那位杜挺豪。
這位杜挺豪，總是在賽事進行其間，大發問題，再加大發偉論。要知道，體操賽事，每一個項目只是一分鐘左右，光聽專業評述都有點不夠時間，還要聽他的廢話，真的有點難忍。
最大的問題，是他的「問題」和「偉論」，實在是完全暴露其無知和白痴，令人初則忍俊不禁，再則罵聲連連。他的金句之多，實在不能全部記得，在此摘錄其中一些：
男子體操比賽
1）「佢地D動作其實難唔難架呢？」（他想說其實不太難，不過幸好專業評述出聲出得夠快：「很難！要練很久才做到的！」）
2）「如果我係評判，我會覺得佢做得好好喎！」（其實那套動作有點毛病，專業評述都已經講明了。）
3）「其實今日係團體初賽，佢地會唔會留力呢？」然後專業評述解釋，團體賽初賽的分數，同時是個人賽的分數，如果想進入個人賽，必須在團體賽初賽中爭取好成績。剛說完這番話不到十秒，杜挺豪再次重複這條問題：「其實佢地都應該係會留力既，係咪？」（我想問：你是聾的，係咪？）
4）在專業評述說了多次：初賽是以654方式計的，六個人一隊，每個項目出五個人，計最好四個的成績。然後杜挺豪不斷問：「咁佢地其中一個失手都唔怕既，係咪？」
5）專業評述剛剛說明，某動作有小毛病，會扣0.1，杜挺豪接著即刻說：「其實呢個動作都好難，應該唔會點扣分…」專業評述即刻補充：會扣0.1的！
6）「其實呢個項目難在乜野？」專業評述聽到這個問題，即時啞了！對奧運級的選手來說，難度3的都不算難，對你杜挺豪來說，什麼都難吧！叫人怎回答？
7）「其實佢地只有廿幾歲，仲好後生，都應該會幾驚架喎！」真的很令人震驚呢！在體操界，廿多歲已經是老手，貼近三十，已經是祖父母級！杜挺豪應該是自己覺得自己很年青，自己很驚恐吧！
第二天晚上播女子體操時：
8）當時進行高低桿，運動員正在桿上抹鎂粉。杜挺豪爆了一句：「咦，點解佢地抹糖漿？」（糖霜或糖漿。發音不準，聽不清楚。）專業評述即時說：「那是鎂粉來的！」作為觀眾的我，完全感受到專業評述的那滴汗，一大滴的滴下來！怎知道杜挺豪死心不息：「哦，鎂粉黎架？但係琴晚睇男子體操，我見到運動員會抹糖漿上吊環同雙桿，令佢痴手D架喎！」專業評述再重申一次：「都是鎂粉來的。」杜挺豪再次追問：「咁佢地抹糖漿，係咪要痴手D？」
杜挺豪究竟是聾，還是痴呆呢？
9）還是高低桿項目，運動員雙手纏了護腕和護掌。杜挺豪問：「咦，佢地好多個都兩隻手纏左野，係咪有咩特別意思架？」連我的母親大人都在旁邊說：「因為要用雙手囉！」
10）還在糾纏護掌問題：「咁係咪會起枕架呢？」雖然當時畫面在播中國隊的高低桿比賽，看不到專業評述的樣子，但完全感受到評述有少少想死的感覺：「練得多，當然會。」
11）杜挺豪繼續追問護掌問題：「咁如果比賽前擦損皮，咪唔可以比賽囉？」專業評述忍住笑的聲音：「比賽就冇辦法架啦…都要頂硬上…」杜挺豪是不是傻的？那些運動員，從幾歲大的時候開始苦練，苦練十多年，就為了出賽，難道會為了少少一塊破皮不比賽嗎？他自己是不是會為了擦破了皮不上班？
12）前一晚男子體操時問過很多次，女子體操這一晚又再問了很多次：「其實呢個項目難在乜野呢？」
除了以上金句問題，還有其他，例如明明在看體操，他硬是要提到自己有看溜冰比賽的什麼什麼，但聽不到與男子體操有什麼關連。到後來，他又提到自己打高爾夫球…大概是想說，因為自己打高爾夫球，所以明白做運動的難處吧！天啊！你打職業高爾夫球嗎？就算是，又跟體操有什麼關係呢？最重要的是，我不想知道你杜挺豪是打高爾夫還是什麼其他的呀！
杜挺豪應該不是播映前三分鐘才知道自己要做主持的吧！？可否先做做功課呢？他在第二晚做女子體操「評述」時唯一的進步，就是他沒有再提到「廿多歲還很年輕」。既然知道要做「評述」，起碼看看舊比賽影帶，聽一聽專業評述的講解，只需要看前一屆奧運的錄影，應該已經學到什麼動作會扣分，什麼會扣0.1，什麼會扣0.5，還是不明白的，就少說少錯。俗語一句：你唔講野，冇人會話你啞架！最重要的是：要發表謬論，也請留到轉場時，沒有運動員正在比賽的時候，才好發表自己的看法呀！想想方力申上一屆的主持表現，他也只是在游泳項目發言較多，其他時候沒加太多意見，大家都已經多多批評。其實，以方力申前香港泳隊成員身份，他在游泳比賽時多說一兩句，也沒什麼吧！起碼他是專業的泳手。亞視的這位杜挺豪，實在令人很沮喪…最慘是，當時無線在播另一些比賽，而我很想看體操，苦啊！
麻煩亞視，讓藝員做「評述」不是不行，但請給予基本的訓練。聽方力申接受查小欣訪問，他說無線給了他們每人厚厚一叠筆記，叫他們熟讀背誦。不知道亞視究竟有沒有類似的東西，讓「評述」們可以稱職一點呢？
大家都在批評張嘉兒，杜挺豪也曾選亞視香港先生的，幸好他在亞視，否則以他那張嘉兒不如的表現，早被人插到七孔流血了！
八月 6, 2008
八月 6, 2008
Taken in Park’n Shop last night…
六月 30, 2008
I remember back when I was in high school, we had this discussion about professions in feline society in a lesson.
It started like this: One day, one of the girls in the class asked this question during recess that we have all sorts of professions in human world like teachers, nurses, doctors, and so on. And she saw a cat in the campus and she began to wonder if there are different professions in the feline society. Are there cat doctors who are there to attend to other cats when somecat got sick? Are there cat teachers who’s responsible for teaching other cats…and so on…
And then the discussion extended into our lesson time. Our teacher thought it’s a good topic for discussion and so we spent like the whole 35 minutes on it.
Well, most of you (or even us back in the class) think that it’s a silly question and a silly discussion. Got too much time to waste on… well, watch this video and maybe the discussion wasn’t that silly after all.
六月 7, 2008
Today is a rainy day. It really rained all day long.
Can’t rain fall only above the reservoir and farmland when they’re needed? Or… it was created so but urbanization ruined it?
六月 1, 2008
I don’t really watch movie that much. I don’t watch TV that much either but I do get to watch Roadshow TV … it’s hard to avoid it on bus.
Then I saw this trailer of Shaolin Girl on Roadshow. I think everyone knows that English subtitles for “Hong Kong” movies (well, Shaolin Girl is not exactly a Hong Kong movie but it is produced by Mr. Chow) is bad but since I don’t watch movies that much I don’t really know how bad the subtitle is. And honestly, even when I watch Chinese movies, I wouldn’t pay any attention to the subtitles and pretend it’s not there – how’d I pollute my eyes!
Anyway, since this trailer is on Roadshow, I get to watch a bit of it. And since it’s in Japanese, I needed to watch the subtitles (my Japanese is pretty much in kindergarten level). Then I saw these lines:
Long time waiting for you. (I have been waiting for you for a long time!)
No one ask you to wait. (Hmm… no one askED you to wait)
Power which was seal off. (Oh… seal off is a noun or the participle has recently been changed to seal – without ed at the end?)
Then I went on youtube and see if I can find that trailer… oh, I love youtube!
Then let’s go through:
We are proud of you who endureD all (of) THE training.
What are you going to do after you ARE back IN your country?
Hey, long time no see, Rin. (We Chinese should be proud. We have successfully polluted the English world that this Chinglish phrase is found in Cambridge Dictionary of Idioms! The phrase can be traced back to sino-western trade back in the 1800s when the westerners took this phrase from Chinese traders’ broken English.)
Endure all of training (Well, endure the whole training, or all the training, of all of the training…just not “all of training”!)
If you come to me, I just make you come. 我有辦法引她過來…!? (OK… this one… I have no idea how they got this translation. “I have a way to lure her to come to our side” would be my translation. The English translation here is… hmm…. I’d say it’s like in porno. If you come <really coming over like walking over> to me, I just make you come <reaching orgasm!???> Or it’s just me having dirty thoughts in my mind?)
How nice Qi it is. (Hmm… I’d prefer “How nice is you Qi”)
Long time waiting for you (see above)
No one ask you to wait! (see above as well)
When she frees up her fierce power which was seal off. (see above… and btw, that full stop (period) at the end of the phrase is original from the subtitle. It isn’t a typo)
Who translated this thing? (Oh, well, yes… I know… translator’s job is hard and a critique’s job is easy…)
五月 30, 2008
Saw these toothpastes in CitySuper! the other day. Altogether 32 flavors… Never thought there’re so many flavors for toothpaste! And… some of the flavors are just… kinda beyond imagination: Cafe Au Lait? Bitter Chocolate? Cola? Indian Curry???
As mentioned in caption, toothpaste may also work in an erotic sense… brush your teeth before you kiss! If you wanna surprise your lover, brush your teeth with Indian Curry! If you want you lover to feel how sweet you are, go try White Peach or Cola! If you wanna punish him/her, go for Espresso or Bitter Chocolate!
Or in a more “educational” sense… for kids who don’t like brushing their teeth, you can put all the toothpastes into a big bag and have lucky draw every time before they have to brush their teeth. Most kids like lucky draw, no matter what they’re drawing for. And you may lure them with giving them Cola flavor on the first day, and start the lucky draw system from the second day on!
I’m so creative! (And so “moliu”!)
