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人多好辦事,京奧盡顯現… (京奧完畢無聊過度?竟然隨手打出一對押韻句。)

從開幕禮,到各項比賽,到閉幕禮,北京奧運充份顯示出「人多好辦事」這個道理。開幕禮中一幕又一幕的2008人大匯演,到各項比賽中頒獎禮中各位禮儀小姐的華姿麗影,到馬拉松競步跑道旁保安員的站崗,人多而動作一致且齊整,比雙人高台跳水或同步游泳中的選手,更加同步。要不是中國地廣人多,可以有十三億人口從中挑選,哪可以找到這麼多高質素的人? 畢竟大家平日見到的自由人,質素並不是每個都那麼高。過往兩週看奧運期間,我常掛在口邊的一句是「中國美女盡在於此!」那些禮儀小姐實在每個都姿態優美,一位飛到北京在鳥巢亢奮了整個星期的朋友,便對那些禮儀小姐的容姿念念不忘。

說到這位朋友,不能不轉述一下他在鳥巢一週的所見所聞。他親眼目睹劉翔一拐一拐的進場和退場,身坐對著終點線的座位上見證Bolt破盡各項世界紀錄,也看到Isinbaeva在撐桿跳跳出5.05米的世界新紀錄,他自己也記不清楚看了多少個世界紀錄的誔生,但更令他驚奇和驚喜的,是大會宣佈劉翔退賽時,全場並沒有太大反應,沒有噓聲,也沒有激動的大叫大喊。事實上,他在現場看到很多人真的是專為看劉翔而進場的。他一早七時多便已進場,從鳥巢第一場比賽一直看到最後一場,百一米欄是11時多的比賽,而鳥巢從七時多至十時多,入座率還是很低,一直到10時半過後,才開始有一批又一批的人進場,明顯這些人是只為看劉翔而進場的。到劉翔退賽後,這些人也還很有禮貌的繼續坐到比賽結束後才離場,而不是一聽到劉翔不跑,便一哄而散。

另一使他驚喜的是,雖然鳥巢內觀眾達九萬人以上,而場館內並沒有垃圾筒,但地上垃圾並不多,即使有垃圾,也是已用膠袋包好,方便工作人員清理的,而不是隨手丟掉的垃圾。事實上,據他所見,整個奧運場區內,包括鳥巢、水立方一帶,到森林公園附近的道路,都非常清潔,連公廁也很乾淨。他笑說以前在北京,不用看,用鼻就可以嗅到公廁所在何方,但這一次真的要用眼看路標了。放飛劍的人還是有的,不過實在比以前少了很多,他整個星期只看到幾個而已。

看電視奧運直播時,很疑惑為什麼連馬拉松都有那麼多人在路旁吶喊加油,朋友回來為我解惑:每條巷都有自己的負責範圍,比賽時間到了,跑手差不多要到自己的區域,居民便會手執國旗等物品,擁到路旁支持一番,遇上中國選手經過,便會喊加油喊得更用力。等到運動員都經過了,便會有人問:是不是完了?然後大伙兒又興高彩烈的回家去。這也不一定是政府規定的,而是大家知道比賽會經過「家門」,不能丟臉,也希望參與一下難得的盛事,於是大家一齊湊熱鬧。

看過兩週的奧運,聽過朋友的親身經歷,覺得中國花了那麼多億的錢去搞奧運,其實也是值得的。有人會說,為什麼不把錢用在扶貧上?用在有需要的人身上?但事實上,中國人最貧乏的是文明和文化。中國作為國家,有五千年的文明和文化,但中國人口中文明的或有文化的人口比例太低。助人自助,其實很需要文明和文化,否則便是有心幫助,卻不懂如何伸出援手,需要幫助的,也不懂怎樣文明地求助,只懂發爛渣,結果什麼都做不了。另一方面,人民有文明和文化,才可以有效監察政府,才可以培養出文明和有文化的官員,而不是養出只顧中飽私襄的貪官污吏。

一次奧運,教養出數以萬計文明而有文化的志願者,打開了以億計中國人的眼睛,知道自己的國家其實可以很文明,可以很有文化,也令很多原本會很多人反對,難以推行的規例,如單雙號行車等規例,得以順利推行。希望京奧期間的文明,可以植根在北京,並由志願者帶回自己的家鄉,繼續伸展開去。

Had lunch with a friend at Cova in Harbor City the other day. The food was alright. Well, I ate too much the night before and was still a bit full by the time I had lunch the next day. So, I wasn’t really paying too much attention to the food. But it certainly was not bad at all.

During that lunch, we heard a guy from the table behind asking a server if there’s a menu in Chinese, and the server coldly replied, “NO."

The immediate reaction of mine and my friend’s was bursted into giggles. But then, both of us thought it’s actually not quite right.

Just imagine yourself being in New York, walk into a restaurant and you open the menu and find that it’s not written in English. Won’t you find it odd?

This is Hong Kong. Isn’t it? And Chinese IS our language. Right? Chinese IS our official language. Why the server could reply with a ‘No’ as if it is absolutely right to be so and that it’s the guy’s fault to ask for a Chinese menu?

Of course, we understand that the logic behind is people who speak English in Hong Kong are those who are better educated and may spend more. However, isn’t this just pure discrimination to those who are not so good at English? Even if it were true that English speakers are those who may spend more, why isn’t Cova treating the customers with less money in the same manner? Did they assume that Chinese speakers, who they believe to be poorer, would not pay the bill after the meal?

Just what if a customer ordered and ate something that he/she is allergic to because there’s no Chinese menu and thus got severely sick? The customer may sue Cova of negligence. As Chinese is an official language in Hong Kong, it is a reasonable expectation of the customer to have Chinese menu in restaurants in Hong Kong – no matter what kind of restaurant it is.

Not that many people would bluntly admit that they discriminate Chinese speakers. Not that many companies/restaurants/organizations would openly confess that they discriminate customers who speak Chinese only. Nonetheless, subtly many are doing just that.

A small town in UK started the fair-trade campaign. The campaign aims at treating the primary producers (farmers) fairly – paying them what they deserve without exploiting them.

Hong Kong needs a different kind of fair-trade – to treat customers, both English speakers and Chinese speakers, alike; Serve them fairly without discriminating them and exploiting their rights to know what they are spending on.

在北京辦奧運,好處是沒有時差,壞處也是沒有時差。沒有時差,即是比賽時間,就是大家的上班時間,要看現場直播,除非放假。

於是,零晨時份的「精華」,就成為追看的節目。

然後無線和亞視選播的項目不同,於是前天晚上和昨晚,為了看體操,我都看了亞視。

老實說,聽慣了無線的評述,亞視的專業評述,是夠專業,不過有時解釋得不夠詳盡,令對體操沒什麼認識的人,有時會不大明白評述背後的原因/背景,但其專業程度,還是可以接受的。

最令人難以忍受的,是亞視字幕稱為「評述」,我會稱為「藝人主持」的那位杜挺豪。

這位杜挺豪,總是在賽事進行其間,大發問題,再加大發偉論。要知道,體操賽事,每一個項目只是一分鐘左右,光聽專業評述都有點不夠時間,還要聽他的廢話,真的有點難忍。

最大的問題,是他的「問題」和「偉論」,實在是完全暴露其無知和白痴,令人初則忍俊不禁,再則罵聲連連。他的金句之多,實在不能全部記得,在此摘錄其中一些:

男子體操比賽

1)「佢地D動作其實難唔難架呢?」(他想說其實不太難,不過幸好專業評述出聲出得夠快:「很難!要練很久才做到的!」)

2)「如果我係評判,我會覺得佢做得好好喎!」(其實那套動作有點毛病,專業評述都已經講明了。)

3)「其實今日係團體初賽,佢地會唔會留力呢?」然後專業評述解釋,團體賽初賽的分數,同時是個人賽的分數,如果想進入個人賽,必須在團體賽初賽中爭取好成績。剛說完這番話不到十秒,杜挺豪再次重複這條問題:「其實佢地都應該係會留力既,係咪?」(我想問:你是聾的,係咪?)

4)在專業評述說了多次:初賽是以654方式計的,六個人一隊,每個項目出五個人,計最好四個的成績。然後杜挺豪不斷問:「咁佢地其中一個失手都唔怕既,係咪?」

5)專業評述剛剛說明,某動作有小毛病,會扣0.1,杜挺豪接著即刻說:「其實呢個動作都好難,應該唔會點扣分…」專業評述即刻補充:會扣0.1的!

6)「其實呢個項目難在乜野?」專業評述聽到這個問題,即時啞了!對奧運級的選手來說,難度3的都不算難,對你杜挺豪來說,什麼都難吧!叫人怎回答?

7)「其實佢地只有廿幾歲,仲好後生,都應該會幾驚架喎!」真的很令人震驚呢!在體操界,廿多歲已經是老手,貼近三十,已經是祖父母級!杜挺豪應該是自己覺得自己很年青,自己很驚恐吧!

第二天晚上播女子體操時:

8)當時進行高低桿,運動員正在桿上抹鎂粉。杜挺豪爆了一句:「咦,點解佢地抹糖漿?」(糖霜或糖漿。發音不準,聽不清楚。)專業評述即時說:「那是鎂粉來的!」作為觀眾的我,完全感受到專業評述的那滴汗,一大滴的滴下來!怎知道杜挺豪死心不息:「哦,鎂粉黎架?但係琴晚睇男子體操,我見到運動員會抹糖漿上吊環同雙桿,令佢痴手D架喎!」專業評述再重申一次:「都是鎂粉來的。」杜挺豪再次追問:「咁佢地抹糖漿,係咪要痴手D?」

杜挺豪究竟是聾,還是痴呆呢?

9)還是高低桿項目,運動員雙手纏了護腕和護掌。杜挺豪問:「咦,佢地好多個都兩隻手纏左野,係咪有咩特別意思架?」連我的母親大人都在旁邊說:「因為要用雙手囉!」

10)還在糾纏護掌問題:「咁係咪會起枕架呢?」雖然當時畫面在播中國隊的高低桿比賽,看不到專業評述的樣子,但完全感受到評述有少少想死的感覺:「練得多,當然會。」

11)杜挺豪繼續追問護掌問題:「咁如果比賽前擦損皮,咪唔可以比賽囉?」專業評述忍住笑的聲音:「比賽就冇辦法架啦…都要頂硬上…」杜挺豪是不是傻的?那些運動員,從幾歲大的時候開始苦練,苦練十多年,就為了出賽,難道會為了少少一塊破皮不比賽嗎?他自己是不是會為了擦破了皮不上班?

12)前一晚男子體操時問過很多次,女子體操這一晚又再問了很多次:「其實呢個項目難在乜野呢?」

除了以上金句問題,還有其他,例如明明在看體操,他硬是要提到自己有看溜冰比賽的什麼什麼,但聽不到與男子體操有什麼關連。到後來,他又提到自己打高爾夫球…大概是想說,因為自己打高爾夫球,所以明白做運動的難處吧!天啊!你打職業高爾夫球嗎?就算是,又跟體操有什麼關係呢?最重要的是,我不想知道你杜挺豪是打高爾夫還是什麼其他的呀!

杜挺豪應該不是播映前三分鐘才知道自己要做主持的吧!?可否先做做功課呢?他在第二晚做女子體操「評述」時唯一的進步,就是他沒有再提到「廿多歲還很年輕」。既然知道要做「評述」,起碼看看舊比賽影帶,聽一聽專業評述的講解,只需要看前一屆奧運的錄影,應該已經學到什麼動作會扣分,什麼會扣0.1,什麼會扣0.5,還是不明白的,就少說少錯。俗語一句:你唔講野,冇人會話你啞架!最重要的是:要發表謬論,也請留到轉場時,沒有運動員正在比賽的時候,才好發表自己的看法呀!想想方力申上一屆的主持表現,他也只是在游泳項目發言較多,其他時候沒加太多意見,大家都已經多多批評。其實,以方力申前香港泳隊成員身份,他在游泳比賽時多說一兩句,也沒什麼吧!起碼他是專業的泳手。亞視的這位杜挺豪,實在令人很沮喪…最慘是,當時無線在播另一些比賽,而我很想看體操,苦啊!

麻煩亞視,讓藝員做「評述」不是不行,但請給予基本的訓練。聽方力申接受查小欣訪問,他說無線給了他們每人厚厚一叠筆記,叫他們熟讀背誦。不知道亞視究竟有沒有類似的東西,讓「評述」們可以稱職一點呢?

大家都在批評張嘉兒,杜挺豪也曾選亞視香港先生的,幸好他在亞視,否則以他那張嘉兒不如的表現,早被人插到七孔流血了!

The most common thing you can find in Yahoo! Knowledge+ is stupid question. Some questions are just so nonsense that you can’t help laughing at it. 

I’ve seen many questions asking for medical diagnosis and at the same ask those who answer not to tell him/her to go see a doctor. 

When I have time, I usually do answer like this: “If Yahoo! Knowledge+ may give you an accurate diagnosis, why do we need any doctor in the world? They should all be jobless." 

Then you may also find many questions asking about some extremely easy to find answers, like syllabus of public exams, tuition fee of university, etc. 

And loads of questions that query about Christianity. Some of them ask those questions because they think there’s no answer to it and thus by asking the question, he/she may prove that Christianity is but a hoax. Oh, well… 

Though I have to be fair, some are asking questions there as they really did try to find the answer somewhere else but couldn’t get any help from those places. 

I just know one thing: when I need to search for answers on the internet, I would avoid taking answers from Yahoo! Knowledge+. Those who have been there know how unreliable the so called “best answers" are. Sometimes, the inquirer simply don’t know which one really is the best answer, though there is a correct one provided. 

To me, reading and answering those questions is more like an entertainment =P

Taken in Park’n Shop last night…

八月 2008
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