她還會在我們各人面前，數落另一個人的"缺點"（她認為的"缺點")。在我面前說F愛乾淨（我們做義工的地方，很鄉村，很有"大自然的氣息" – 亦即是下雨天就每日腳踏牛、馬、狗屎；而F對洗手間、浴室的清潔很有要求，跟"小女孩"的生活方式有點距離）；在V面前說我跟著她的選擇買衣服，沒有主見（我所有的朋友，可以同聲大笑！我想只會有人說我主見太多，而不會有人說我沒有主見吧!?)。最令我們震驚的，是她竟然在我們面前說到V嫁著好老公時（她認容V的老公，又humble，又nice….etc)，語氣不屑地說了三個字。那三個字很簡單，加上不屑的語氣，對任何已婚女士來說，都是一種侮辱！（那三個字不是粗口，我不重提，只是因為恐防有人覆述給V的老公聽，我媽說絕對不要給男人知道有人這樣說自己的老婆…!)(後記：V說已跟老公說了，所以不怕再提，那三個字很簡單：執到啦!）
Not all post-80s (people born after 1980) are brainless. Most post-80s I know are really smart; Not all post-80s are despicable. Most post-80s I know are very lovely.
It is just misfortunate that the 21-year-old “little girl" that travelled with me this time really gave me and my travel mates a lot of headache. If I only had to meet her a few times for a brief time, then I probably would have felt much better. When I had to travel with her for two weeks, however, and live with her in the same room for ten days, that’s something really unbearable.
I don’t wanna write this blog like reporters writing up showbiz “news" in tabloids and count every detail. Many of the things she did are really the small details in life: Like though she’s living in someone else’ house, she’s always late for dinner that the whole family were seated at the table already but she’s still not there. And even when you go in and tell her to come out for dinner, she’d still make you wait; Or like she very often leaves a pile of hair in the shower place after taking a shower…
There are other bigger things like when she needed to take off her jacket, she would place her jacket right on top of your things (could be your bag or your jacket) so that her jacket wouldn’t get dirty (it’s been told that it’s very dusty at where we do our volunteer work. Why bring a white jacket?); or like she likes taking picture and would take picture of whatever she finds (including withered flower in the trash bin) but she would never catch up after staying behind to take her pictures. We always have to wait for her; Or like when we were waiting for our passports at the custom about just one meter away from the counter and right in front of the officer, she would take out her camera and try to shoot a picture of the officer! We were driving through Romania border to return to Hungary. To be honest, at a border where very few Hong Kong Chinese would be found, we could get in trouble.
But all these little details are just behavioral problems. Keep an eye closed and the journey will be over pretty quickly. But when it’s about integrity, we can’t just pretend it’s nothing and tolerate it in silence.
There were five of us: four ladies and a guy. The guy is my friend V’s husband. This journey, for them, is about visiting family, traveling and doing volunteer work. Me and another friend, F, go to the same church with V and her husband (also V). Our relationship was made clear to this “little girl". Though we may not be best-friend-forever, we are obviously good friends. However, she just seems unable to see that between “close friends" and “distanced friends", she’s definitely on the “distanced" side. She probably thought that she’s the only one living with V at V’s parent-in-law’s place and thus V, F and I are not as close. During the journey, she kept talking ill of V in front of F, talking ill of me in front of V, and talking ill of F in front of me. Some of the little “stories" she told were true. It’s just that she took it the wrong way and thought her misunderstanding was the whole of the truth. Say, she told V that F & I disrespect each other whenever we were left alone in the room (she stayed in the same room with us). But the fact is… that’s just the way F and I talk to each other. Some of the little “stories" she told, however, were simply not true. For example, on the day we left for Prague, V&V needed to drive all the way from their place to Budapest to pick up F & I, then we all may take a train to Prague together. They were late that morning because of this “little girl". However, when we casually asked if they left home later than expected, she said no. We almost missed the train that morning. Another example is we were shopping at H&M in Budapest, I took a white t-shirt for fitting. She saw it on the rack and I showed her that I’ve already got one in my basket. She asked if she could try it on after I’d tried it. Of course, I let her do so. In fact, I went back to the rack to look for another size-S on the rack while she was in the fitting room. There wasn’t any white left and so I bought a black one. I later bought that same white one in H&M Prague. She told V that I snatched everything she picked in H&M and I was copying her style (but that black tee was the only one we both bought).
She would talk ill about each of us in front of each other. She indirectly complained to me that F was obsessive compulsive with hygiene (we were stepping on dungs of dogs, horses and cows everyday when we were doing volunteer work in Romania; F’s need for a hygienic shower room is definitely over-the-top according to the standard of this “little girl"). She complained to V that I copied her style and thus concluded that I’m a person without personal opinion. (All my friends may laugh really hard here. I think people would only complain that I have too strong a personal opinion!)
What shocked us most was how she talked about V marrying her husband. She told F that V’s husband was a very humber, nice and kind man. Then in the end she commented that V being able to marry such a man as “simply being lucky (that she didn’t deserve to have him)." (Translation problem here: she said this in cantonese and the connotation means far more and worse than “lucky". It’s an expression we’d only use to describe a woman who’s too bad to deserve a good husband or to be married at all. It’s definitely an insult to any married woman. Period.)
On the last few days of our journey, we basically wouldn’t leave V’s husband by himself because this “little girl" admired V’s husband so much that she would seize any opportunity to be with him, using body language that is so unlike the daily her to talk to him. We didn’t really notice anything wrong until the last few days as… it’s still kinda unbelievable to me that a 21-year-old would try to “flirt" the husband of her secondary school teacher! (V taught her for an year when she was in secondary school.)
I did thought about whether we were too demanding. But one of my post-80 friends, who has, it so happen, the same English name as this “little girl", is way more mature and helpful. I went to Bangladesh for volunteer work with her a few years ago and didn’t have such a problem. In fact, there were many early 20s in that trip and never had such problems. So, definitely not all post-80s are like this.
Behavioral problems are bearable but integrity problems are not. Traveling with this little girl once is more than enough!
Conclusion: Just hope I will never need to meet her again! (In fact, I think she wishes the same…!)